Ask a Therapist: Telling a New Sibling Their Father Was Not the Donor
A donor conceived person wonders how to inform a new sibling that their father was not the donor and that the sibling is instead also donor conceived.
A donor conceived person wonders how to inform a new sibling that their father was not the donor and that the sibling is instead also donor conceived.
A recipient parent seeks advice and resources to address her daughter's deep distress from the late disclosure of being donor conceived.
Casey Duncan is the recipient parent to two donor conceived people. One of them was “switched before birth.”
A recipient parent wonders how to fix a strained relationship with her child after failing to respond to the child's curiosity about the donor while growing up.
I cannot remember a time in my life that I did not know I was donor conceived. I was raised by the most amazing single mother and never lacked anything, but I was constantly reminded I did not have a dad.
"I joke with people that my first thought was, 'I’ve been diluted.' And as humorous as it may be to joke that finding out I was half white contributed to a sense of identity or cultural 'dilution,' it simultaneously created an incomparable sadness that took years to deconstruct."
Deciding to use donor sperm or eggs is often a result of a fertility complication. In this emotional process, the consideration of how donor conceived people (DCP) will feel about their conception is often overlooked.
The answer is simple: as soon as possible. Donor conceived people (DCP) need to know the truth about their conception from birth, or at the very least, prior to age 3.
Gratitude and grief are not mutually exclusive. It is not necessary to be grateful for your method of conception if it is intertwined with trauma or loss.