"I joke with people that my first thought was, 'I’ve been diluted.' And as humorous as it may be to joke that finding out I was half white contributed to a sense of identity or cultural 'dilution,' it simultaneously created an incomparable sadness that took years to deconstruct."
Deciding to use donor sperm or eggs is often a result of a fertility complication. In this emotional process, the consideration of how donor conceived people (DCP) will feel about their conception is often overlooked.
The answer is simple: as soon as possible. Donor conceived people (DCP) need to know the truth about their conception from birth, or at the very least, prior to age 3.
Gratitude and grief are not mutually exclusive. It is not necessary to be grateful for your method of conception if it is intertwined with trauma or loss.